Bitter Medicine
by cantankerousMaiden
Summary: It doesn't matter how much it hurts. Tavros is determined to find the strength to be the man he was meant to be. Generic college AU, eventual PBJ, SO MUCH FLUFF, all characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Bitter Medicine**

A/N: So. It's come to this. Homestuck. How this fandom has grabbed ahold of me. How it torments my every waking hour. Now, I'm planning this to be a pretty long piece, so I hope everyone will have patience with me if we march up Mount PBJ in a slow and measured kind of way. Also, we're going to get pretty detailed on moirallegiance here, and it's going to be a major theme throughout, so expect lots of bff shipping. I normally really don't care for college AUs, but I wanted to see if I could challenge myself with one. I feel very uncertain about this premise, so if you're liking it, please to be letting me know. Alright? Alright. Tally ho.

* * *

Chapter One

"You're sure about this?"

"As sure as I was yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that." Tavros offered a bracing smile as he taped up another box, scrawling 'BEDDING' along the side. "Besides, it's a little late not to be sure, isn't it?"

"I guess." Aradia was running her fingers through her hair, something she only did when she was upset. The big, dark curls would frizz up into something she loathed when manhandled, but she never quite managed to stop doing it. "I'm not trying to dissuade you or anything."

Tavros arched his eyebrows and his his friend settled into a sheepish smile.

"Well, okay, maybe I am a tiny bit, but for purely selfish reasons, I promise. What am I supposed to do without you?"

"Sit online and raid every weekend, same as we do now."

The pair laughed. They laughed because it was true, and because it was hard not to laugh at themselves sometimes. It wasn't unheard of for them to pester each other from separate laptops while sitting inches apart. They laughed because they were ridiculous and because they would miss each other, miss being ridiculous. The immediacy of the change laid so heavily on them that evening. The hours were slipping away, and soon it would all be gone. Gone and different. So they laughed, savoring the familiar way their voices mingled. No telling when they might hear it again.

Aradia hopped down from his bed and bent to help him pack. One by one his things disappeared into boxes or suitcases; Tavros' room was looking gutted and unadorned, like his influence on the place was being steadily erased.

"Aw, look," she crooned, "I found Tinkerbull. He going with you?"

Tavros wrinkled his nose, torn. "I guess it's not very... uh, manly, taking an imaginary friend away to college." Aradia waggled the ratty thing in mid-air, waiting patiently. The pause didn't stretch very long before he relented. It received a place of honor, safe in his carry-on. "Then again, nobody needs to know about it," he muttered.

Aradia chuckled and shuffled over to his side. They reclined with their backs against his bed, surveying the little congregation of neatly packed belongings and memories stretching out before them; the veritable end of their childhood, though the sentiment was too melodramatic for either of them to voice.

"I'm gonna miss you," Aradia murmured.

"I'll miss you more," Tavros assured her. Her head lolled onto his shoulder and he adjusted to make her more comfortable. "What do you think it'll be like?"

"Dreadful. Your roommates will have sex all the time, all your classes will be uphill and all your teachers will be demons from the seventh ring of hell, and then you'll see reason and come back to me." Tavros rolled his eyes. If it was anyone else, such a grim prognostication would make him nervous – or, rather, make him more nervous, but he knew when Aradia was joking. She wasn't very good at it. "I dunno. You said the campus is beautiful?"

"So beautiful. It's like it was carved out of solid pristine New England charm. It's big, though. Much bigger than any of the other schools we looked at."

Aradia made a clicking noise against her teeth. "I still don't see why you couldn't just come to New Mex State with me. It's a good school."

"Good for you. You know their pre-med program is hanging by a thread. I wish you could have seen Pickering U's facilities, Aradia. It's a real institution, with research being done and grad students running around and everything. I could do anything there."

Aradia wore a wan smile. "That has nothing to do with it and you know it."

"It has a little to do with it."

"Not much."

She had a point.

Pickering would give him a good shot at med school,Tavros knew that. It really was state of the art and very respectable, but so were lots of schools. The real selling point, the reason he was willing to shell out twenty grand a year (after scholarships) was the simple fact that the campus was located a dizzying two thousand miles from his hometown. The dusty side roads and humble suburban sprawl of No Where, New Mexico was all he had ever known, all blazing summers and desert intensity, but tomorrow he would leave. For the first time, Tavros would discover something new. A new town, a new room, new people and things – even snow. He was really looking forward to snow. And the promise of doing it himself was worth all the terror. It had to be.

"It's just something I need to do," Tavros finally told her. "I just... I need to know I can. Without you or mom or – or whoever. I have to stand on my own two feet." He peered down at his useless legs with a frown. "I mean – you know what I mean."

"Well, I don't think you need to prove anything, but if you're dead set on having yourself an adventure, you know I'm in your corner." Aradia grinned up at him and Tavros felt braver. His best friend was a little bit odd, but no one gave him strength like she did. No one loved him half as well. And really, that was the hardest part. If he could survive the separation, he could do anything.

"So. Have you got everything?"

"I think so."

"Wrong." Aradia shifted, digging for something in the pocket of her skirt. What she produced was a tiny toy compass, battered from years of play with a needle that swung wildly in all directions. Tavros recognized it instantly. He had clutched it hundreds of times as a child, leading them boldly through perilous lands of their own imagining. They had clutched sticks for swords, fought off the most vicious of pirates and discovered cloud-lined mesas more beautiful than anything on Earth, and this cheap little compass had shown them the way.

"You kept it?" he breathed. "I thought it was lost after the- after Vriska-"

Aradia shrugged. "I went back. I don't know why. I was trying to make sense of it, I guess. It was just sitting there in the middle of the grass, plain as could be. I've been carrying it around ever since."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you. I thought it might bring back bad memories."

Tavros shook his head, struggling to speak around the lump in his throat. "No. Only good ones."

Aradia pressed the toy into his hand. "It belongs to our fearless leader. Try not to get too lost in the wild north, okay?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Tavros pulled her into a hug and buried his face in her hair to hide how wet his eyes had become. Her arms circled his shoulders and they clung tight to each other, as tight as they dared. Long shafts of dusky light poured through his window, setting his room on fire, and as hard as they fought to hang on to the moment, it was a fleeting thing, threatening to evaporate at any moment. But Tavros would not forget it. Never.

Never.

"Kids! Dinner!"

Mrs. Nitram's voice broke the spell and the pair separated, identical misty smiles lingering on their faces. Aradia clambered to her feet and pushed the wheelchair into easy reach. Tavros hauled himself into it with movements fluid from long practice, spun around on the aged carpet and led the way out of his room.

* * *

Tavros had never been to the airport before. Their one family trip to Disney Land had been made by car, and he really never had traveled before. It was even busier than he'd imagined it to be. People milled in every direction, fighting through lines and shouting into cell phones, lugging baggage and kissing loved ones good-bye. It didn't feel like he belonged with their number. Trembling, he turned to his family, the first security checkpoint looming just ahead.

"I g-guess this is it," he managed.

His mother sniffed loudly and bent to fuss over her son. "You're sure you have everything? Your phone is charged? Hand sanitizer? Do you-"

"I'm fine, mom," Tavros insisted gently. Gently, but firmly. She smiled a teary smile and pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, flattening his mohawk in a way she knew he hated. "I'll call you as soon as I get in."

"I know you will."

His father, a tall, gruff man, broad-shouldered and usually impassive, was looking at him with something unmistakably close to pride in his eyes. It made something in Tavros' chest swell up. "Have a good trip, okay, kiddo?" He clapped one hand to Tavros' shoulder. "You don't let anyone push you around. You remember that."

"Unless they're pushing you uphill," Aradia chimed in. Tavros' mother squeezed the bridge of her nose while his father groaned aloud. Tavros laughed. It felt good to laugh in such a frightening situation. Aradia bent and they shared one last hug, both offering silent prayers for nothing to change – nothing between them, anyway. "Do you still have it?"

The toy compass was snug in his pocket. Tavros nodded and Aradia smiled.

"Good. Don't change too much, okay?"

"I won't."

"You need to hurry," his mother fretted. She was right. He couldn't afford to cut it much closer than he already was. So they said their final farewells and Tavros wheeled himself around to face security solo. He'd be facing everything solo from now on. He couldn't decide if that thrilled or horrified him.

It was a lengthy process. He had to be searched by hand thanks to the wheelchair, and his hands shook as he emptied his pockets and pulled off his shoes. He knew what to expect, of course. He had extensively researched the ordeal that flying would present to a paraplegic, but the endless preparations didn't ease his anxiety much. The security guard's face was blank as he patted Tavros down. If he felt the awkwardness many able-bodied people felt when dealing with the handicapped, his expression didn't show it. Tavros was grateful for that.

Soon enough, he was rolling down the terminal in search of his gate. He stopped off for a bagel and a bottle of juice, despite not being hungry in the slightest. He just liked the way it felt, deciding he wanted something and then getting it. Terror and delight were fighting him for dominance and he liked the way his skin sang with uncertainty, even if it made him a little sick. It felt like being alive.

His phone was buzzing. Juggling his uneaten breakfast, Tavros dug in the bag strapped to his chair and pulled it out, flipping the Pesterchum app open.

AA: i miss y0u already.

Tavros laughed out loud. She was probably still in the damn parking lot.

AT: i MISS YOU TOO, }:)

AA: h0w is the airp0rt? did y0u find y0ur gate yet?

AT: uH, nOT YET, bUT i AM WORKING ON THAT PROBLEM, pRESENTLY

AT: iT'S BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

AA: adventure, stage 0ne

She was right about that. It took almost twenty minutes of rolling through the crowds like a salmon swimming upstream before the various guideposts led him to D12. Inwardly, Tavros was cheering. It was such a minor thing, such a tiny victory, but it was all his. He hadn't even asked for directions.

The plane had pulled up to the terminal, and while the rest of the passengers still had plenty of time, he had to hurry. He checked in with the attendant and they got straight to business. An airport issue wheelchair was carried out and he transferred himself over, letting the employee fold his up to be carried off to luggage. The new chair was uncomfortably narrow, and to his chagrin, required him to be strapped in to the point of near immobility. A trace of humiliation stung his cheeks as he was wheeled in, the first to board and making what felt like a spectacle, but Tavros pushed the feeling away. He had to get used to it.

Once free of the blasted thing, he transferred himself over to his seat, stowed his carry-on in front of him, snapped his seat belt into place, and then it was somehow done. He was ready. Other passengers began filing in, none paying him much attention, and it occurred to Tavros that he had _made _this happen. He had done something right.

It felt nice.

AT: i'M, UM

AT: i'M ON THE PLANE

AT: }:)

AA: i knew y0u'd figure it 0ut

AT: wE'RE TAKING OFF SOON

AT: sO i HAVE TO GO

AT: bUT i'LL TEXT YOU WHEN i GET THERE

AT: uNLESS IT'S SUPER LATE

AA: text me anyway.

AT: bUT, wHAT IF i WAKE YOU UP

AA: i d0n't care. text me anyway.

AT: uH, oKAY

AT: i PROMISE

AT: }:)

AA: 0_0

His phone made a soft electronic sigh as he shut it off and settled back. He thought flying would scare him, but it didn't. The only thing Tavros felt as the plane jolted its way through take-off was some intoxicating mix of incredulity and glee. Seven hours. He'd be there in seven hours.

He slept most of the way.

* * *

The campus was even bigger than Tavros remembered it being. Or it seemed that way, at least. The school had arranged a special shuttle to pick him up from the airport and get him settled, for which he was very grateful. He wasn't sure he could have ever found his dorm on his own, let alone drag his luggage with.

They had parked outside a tall, long brick building with foreboding architecture and innumerable windows. He glanced at his directions and back at the building, and yes, they were in the right place. Tables sporting huge stacks of paperwork and huge bunches of balloons – as if to distract you from the paperwork – lined the sidewalk. They were manned by friendly-looking student Tavros supposed must be representatives for campus life or something and divided neatly into alphabetical order. A crowd of students covered them like flies, shoving through to the right tables, shrieking greetings and howling jokes, acquainting and reacquainting themselves. Tavros gulped.

Shyly, he wheeled up to L-N, his escort at his side.

"Last name?" asked the girl assigned to this table. She had bright eyes and a wide smile, and when she moved, Tavros could see how long and full her dark ponytail really was. It reminded him vaguely of his own best friend, and he liked her instantly.

"Nitram."

"Nitram, Nitram..." she flipped through her forms, skimming names until she found his. "Tavros?"

"Y-yeah, that's me."

If it were possible for the girl's eyes to get any brighter, he would have said they lit up just then. "How about that! Looks like you're with me, Tavros." She extended her hand and he took it timidly. "My name's Feferi, and I'll be your RA this year. Welcome to Bode Hall."

Tavros smiled in spite of his nerves. She seemed wonderful. Feferi began piling papers in front of him, things he was to sign and initial, endless disclosures and repetitions of the rules – none of which he intended to break, thank you very much.

"Meal times are all down there, but you'll have a mini fridge to share with your roommate so don't worry about starving. Floor meeting's tonight at seven, and it's mandatory, so try not to be late, kay?" She shot him a dazzling smile and handed him keys to his room, his floor and his mailbox, which he cradled like treasures. "I think you're all set."

Tavros thought so, too.

He was on the seventh floor. Which suited him fine, as long as the building didn't catch fire or anything. He forced himself not to think about it. His escort waited patiently as he jimmied his key in the lock to the floor. There was a trick to it; you had to be pressing against the door while you turned the key to pop it open. The hallways were wide, lined with white cinder block and carpeted in something Tavros wasn't entirely sure could legally be called carpet. It had once been a rich indigo, but that was years ago, and it had been so faithfully trod upon that it was now a slick colorless surface his chair rolled neatly over.

His room was at the end of the hall and to the left. Tavros held his breath while he unlocked the door.

It was spacious and wide, clean and symmetrical, lit by a massive window on the east wall and equipped with two identical sets of everything – two beds, two tables, two chairs, two dressers. It would have been perfectly uniform, had it not been for the boy sitting on one of the beds, headphones in, computer open, his belongings already strewn around him.

The boy looked up to inspect the intruder. He was very small, much skinnier than Tavros, pale and dark-haired, with the darkest rings Tavros had ever seen circling his eyes. It was as if he hadn't eaten or slept in a month. He looked Tavros up and down, pursing his lips, before he came to his conclusion on the matter.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" were the first words out of his mouth.

Tavros had no idea how to respond.

"Enjoy, kid," his nameless escort told him, plopping Tavros' luggage down on what was apparently his side of the room. Tavros opened his mouth, wanted to ask him to stay, but what he could he really say? The man disappeared out the door in record time, leaving him to the company of his new roommate. Tavros shifted uncomfortably.

"N-no?" he managed.

"What?"

"I-i'm not kidding you, I-i, um."

The boy groaned, ripping out his ear buds. "What the actual fuck. No, I'm serious. I would just fucking love to know how this shit happens. Is Shit On Karkat Day a national fucking holiday? Tell me you don't also have a goddamn stutter, because I am not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass trying to decipher every fucking word you assail my sensory organs with."

"Uh- I- uh-"

"Well if that isn't just motherfucking magical. You've made me believe in goddamn miracles, kid! My friends will be so fucking thrilled to hear it." He frowned and gestured to the chair. "Is that permanent?"

"My chair?" Tavros was flushed with fear, bruised feelings and the force of his roommate's assault. "Y-yeah, I'm, um, it's, I'm- p-paralyzed."

"Fucking wonderful. You don't need help to get to the fucking can or anything, do you? Because I'm telling you right fucking now, you're not getting shit from me."

Now Tavros was starting to feel a hair indignant as well. "N-no, I can, t-take care of m-myself, just fine, t-thank you."

"Good." Glowering, the boy looked his new companion up and down once more, though it seemed some of the venom had gone out of his eyes. "What's your name?"

"T-t-t-" Tavros had to take a deep breath and remember his speech exercises, force himself to speak through the fear. "T-tavros Nitram."

"Hn." He almost looked appraising now. "Well. Hi, I guess. T-t-tavros. I'm Karkat. Don't fucking bother me." With that, he shoved his headphones back in and his full concentration returned to his computer, sparing Tavros from further conversation.

Letting out a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding, Tavros wheeled around, though it made him nervous to turn his back on the tiny package of explosive rage he was now sharing a bathroom with, and began unpacking for the sake of something to do. Most of his belongings were being shipped in, but he had the basics with him, and he set to making his corner as homey as he possibly could – anything to keep him from having to look across the room to Karkat. When his dresser was full and his suitcases were empty, he crawled out of his chair and onto his bed and pulled out his own laptop. Karkat had the right idea there, he thought.

The connection was excellent. Within moments, he was logging into PesterChum and scanning his list for the familiar initials. Nothing. She must have gotten caught up in something, Tavros thought. Even so.

adiosToreador began pestering apocalypseArisen

AT: i MISS YOU

AT: i MISS YOU SO MUCH

AT: THIS IS GOING TO BE SO HARD

AT: i MISS YOU

He meant every word.


	2. Chapter 2

Bitter Medicine

Chapter Two

A/N: Enter the clown.

/steeples fingers

* * *

Karkat was no closer to civil behavior by 6:45. He hadn't moved, in fact; not even when Tavros rolled off the bed and into his chair to get ready for the floor meeting. That was fine with Tavros. He wheeled himself into the spacious bathroom they shared with the next unit over and looked around with a heavy sigh. Four people to a toilet normally wouldn't present a problem, but he hoped everyone would be patient with the extra burden his condition presented. Christ, he was sick of being a burden.

Trying to push the thought away, Tavros ran the water until it was ice cold and splashed it over his face. The flight out was one of the most exciting things he had ever done, but it left him feeling dusty, grimy and sore, like he hadn't showered in days. He wasn't sure why. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this tired, either, and scrubbed at his face until he felt confident he could maintain consciousness for another hour or so.

Tavros made a face in the mirror. The boy staring back at him didn't quite seem like the same person that had done all these big, frightening things. He looked tired and smaller than usual, his father's broad shoulders and his own hard-won muscle tone hidden underneath an old sweatshirt. He stuck his tongue out at himself. Darkly tanned from the New Mexico summer, but still a little on the wan side. Hn. He supposed there was nothing to be done about it. Dragging his brush through his mohawk, he arranged it into something presentable and shrugged. It would have to do.

Karkat still hadn't moved when he emerged. Tavros frowned, wondering if he was always like this or if Tavros had just managed to already get on his bad side. He cleared his throat softly.

Nothing.

He tried it again, a little louder. Finally he had to cough outright. Karkat's eyes didn't move from the screen, but he did acknowledge him with a flat and uninterested "What."

"Um," Tavros managed. "It's, um. It's almost seven. We have. We have that thing, th-that meeting. If you were. Um. Going to g-go."

Karkat's only response was to flip him off.

Tavros wasn't going to push it any further. Without another word, he wheeled out of the room as quietly as he could, shutting the door gently behind him. He hoped he wouldn't get himself into trouble for leaving Karkat behind. They weren't on the buddy system or anything, were they?

God, he hoped not.

Thanks to his stuttering and hesitation, Tavros was one of the last people in attendance. The common room was wide and rectangular, situated at the center of their floor and painted a dull maroon for no real reason outside the sake of being maroon.. Two horribly beaten couches sat beneath an ancient wall-mounted television that Tavros was willing to bet hadn't worked properly in a while, and a round, laminate wood table separated the furniture. People piled on the couches over capacity, but it didn't look terribly comfortable, and Tavros didn't mind having his own built-in seat for once. Those who weren't sprawling on the furniture made way for him to squish into the crowd.

Sitting cross-legged on the laminate table was the girl with the electric smile. Feferi gave Tavros a special wink when they made eye contact, and he felt his muscles relax a fraction.

"All right, is everyone here?" The small crowd murmured, but Tavros held his tongue. He didn't want to bring it up if he didn't have to. "Close enough, I guess. All right, well. My name's Feferi Peixes, and I'm your RA this year." She turned that smile on and nearly blinded half the room. "I'm excited to get to know each and every one of you."

As hollow of a sentiment as it was, Tavros got the feeling that she meant it. There was something unmistakably earnest about her.

The meeting was less of a deal than Tavros had imagined it to be. Mostly it was a matter of going over the rules, getting the last of the paperwork out of the way and Feferi handing out her contact information.

"If you're ever drunk and need a ride home, call me," she was saying as she passed slips of paper around. "I mean it. Put me in your phone just so you know I'm there. If you ever need anything, you can come to me. Issues with school, your roommates, relationships, whatever. Don't feel like you don't have anywhere to turn." Tavros clutched his little slip of paper tightly. He strongly doubted the possibility he'd ever find himself in need of a designated driver, but it felt nice, having a stranger reach out like that, even in the most general way possible.

"So, I guess that's about it. Any questions? No? Well, you know where to find me if you get any. Have a good night, guys."

Kids began drifting away the moment Feferi released them, though a handful lingered to either continue their noisy chatter or try to catch Feferi's eye. They were disappointed when she turned her attention to Tavros, tapping his shoulder before could make his quiet exit. He looked over, wide-eyed and borderline alarmed, but Feferi had a calming quality to her, and he fought back the instinct to bolt.

"Hey, Tavros," she started, "I'm glad I have a chance to catch up with you. How was move in day?"

Tavros summoned up a smile for her. "It was.." Alarming? Confusing? Please help me, my roommate is a ball of hate and volume? "It was a-alright. I'm mostly settled in, I guess. Um, was yours okay?" It seemed polite to ask.

Feferi grinned. "Mine was great. I'm glad you're doing okay. I wanted to let you know that my door is open especially wide for you, okay?" She stretched her arms out for effect. "If you ever need anything, even a study buddy, I'm here."

Tavros' smile became almost imperceptibly forced. She was being so kind, and he appreciated it. Of course he did. But there was one reason he was on the other end of this double dose of kindness – one reason and four wheels, and the reality of it stung a little.

"Thanks, Feferi." He managed to keep the faint trace of bitterness from his voice when he responded. "That's good to know."

She looked satisfied with that. "I'm glad. So, out of curiosity, have you seen your roommate yet? He didn't show up tonight."

Tavros was wondering when that was coming.

"Y-yeah, um." He bit at his lower lip. "He's back in the room. He d-didn't want to come."

Feferi frowned, but to his relief, she didn't press him. "Hm. Well, I'll be sure to have a word with him about that later. Don't you worry about it, though. It's not a big deal."

Relief rippled through Tavros. Thank God. He didn't want to aggravate Karkat if he didn't have to. "O-okay. Well. Um. Thanks again, Feferi. I'm g-gonna go turn in, I think."

"Night," she called sweetly after him. Tavros made a beeline for his room. One obstacle down.

By the time he returned – forcing himself to hesitate only momentarily at the door – it seemed Karkat had finally moved. Which is to say, he was now glued to his computer while sprawled across his stomach. He again failed to acknowledge Tavros in any way. That was fine. Tavros just hoped his disinterest held.

He then realized he faced and entirely new conundrum. How was he going to change? Granted, Karkat didn't seem to be paying attention, but he was still _right there. _Maybe it was abnormal for an 18-year-old boy to be shy about getting into his pajamas, but...

But it was an ordeal. And it was embarrassing. He had to lie down on a flat surface, wriggle around like a child and make a damn scene of it. Tavros' cheeks burned with shame and anger. It had been so much easier at home, with a routine and privacy and people he trusted. He never forgot how much harder paralysis made the smallest, most mundane of tasks, but it was clearer in that darkened dorm room than it had been in years.

In the end, Tavros took his pajamas and holed up in the bathroom. He locked both doors and didn't turn on the light, on the off chance he might alert the occupants of the next room to his presence. It was easier on a bed, but he made do with the cold linoleum floor cutting into his shoulders. After he had yanked his jeans off and wrestled sleeping bottoms on, he laid there a moment, listening to the vibrations of his many dorm mates' movements echoing across the floor. Someone was running. Their footfalls felt like the rumble of distant thunder. Tavros squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the urge to cry.

Don't, he told himself. Don't you dare start feeling sorry for yourself. Not today. Not here, with all this.

What would Aradia say?

She would say that you can do it.

Well, then. Do it.

He pulled himself into his chair.

Tavros didn't even check to see if Karkat looked up when he rolled back into their room. He was suddenly too tired to care. He parked his chair by his bed side, hauled himself onto the aging mattress, rolled over and plummeted into a deep and soundless sleep.

He would call Aradia tomorrow.

* * *

Monday morning dawned clear and cold.

But Tavros wouldn't know anything about that, because he slept till eight forty-five.

He jolted awake as his cell phone sang out its shrill alarm. For one horrible moment, Tavros reeled; where was he? What was going on? Why were his walls so _white? _But it came back to him as the cobwebs slowly cleared from his mind, and Tavros gazed around the barren room in awe.

It was a dorm room.

It was _his_ dorm room. Where he lived now.

A shiver of wonder shot down his fractured spine.

His cursory glance told him Karkat had already left for the day. The explosion from the day before already seemed too strange to be real, and Tavros caught himself wondering if he had imagined it, or somehow blown it out of proportion. That seemed likely. But there was nothing he could do about it currently, and Tavros had places to be, so he spilled into his wheelchair and got down to brass tacks, wheeling into the bathroom to get changed and ready.

The nice thing about ten o'clock classes, he decided as he scrubbed his face, was the fact that the building seemed very quiet. Likely everyone else was already gone for the day. Tavros could get used to this schedule. It gave him a little more leeway in-

Without warning, the door to the opposite side of the bathroom flew open. Tavros froze. He hadn't locked it? How had he not locked it? Wait, how was anyone even over there? It sounded dead silent!

The doorway filled with a boy that might have been skinnier than Karkat, though he stood a good head or more taller. His dark hair was cut short and choppy and he slouched in pajama pants and a t-shirt that, while the right length, was much too big for his narrow frame. He cocked an eyebrow at Tavros over the the strangest glasses the boy had ever seen.

"Hey," he said.

"H-hey," Tavros managed, sounding strangled.

"Sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here." He spoke with a perceptible lisp, which somehow eased Tavros' terror a hair. "I'm Sollux."

"Hi," Tavros sort of squawked. "Um. Hi. I'm T-tavros."

Sollux nodded his acknowledgement. It seemed like his eyes were giving Tavros and his contraption the customary once-over, but it was hard to tell with those glasses. Blessedly, he chose not to comment on it. Instead, he said, "You really ought to lock the door."

Tavros nodded furiously, silently thanking whatever god would listen that he hadn't been in the middle of trying to shower or anything.

"I don't need it for a while. But don't take forever. Some of us have classes to get to."

With that, Sollux retreated, leaving Tavros to his routine.

It would take some getting used to. Strangers, interruptions, sharing his life with uncertainty like this. He would have to get better at adapting on the fly. Tavros bolted through the rest of his preparations, scrubbing himself down with a soapy rag in lieu of a proper bath. He still needed to get a shower chair. But then he'd have to keep it next to his tiny closet or something, and everyone would see it, and... maybe he'd just keep scrubbing himself down every day.

Even with an abbreviated routine, it still took Tavros longer than he would have liked, and by the time he was rolling into the hallway, a leisurely pace was not an option.

The campus had seemed large on the drive to his dorm, but that was nothing to the experience of wheeling through the thick of the campus. Tavros wasn't sure he had ever seen so many people in one place before. The crowds were gaping, monstrous things, surging in all directions, comprised of thousands of tinier organisms – freshmen struggling to find their way, seniors that would attend for about a week, clubs and faculty and local businesses, all throwing their weight into the madness of the day one scramble. Tavros was completely overwhelmed. His map was worthless. An imprecise scrawling of boxes for buildings with names crammed in the corners, none of which seemed to correspond to anything when thousands of people milled in and out and on every available structure. Frustration and panic creased the edges of his frown.

It was another ten minutes of frantic rolling before Tavros stumbled across a tall, domed building he assumed to be the Lind Lecture Hall. But before relief could flicker through his skin, the fact that it was situated steeply uphill registered in some distant part of his brain, and Tavros groaned inwardly.

Rolling up his sleeves, Tavros began his trek. The going wasn't terrible, but he was willing to bet he'd have arms of steel by the end of the year. It would be a nightmare when winter came. Tavros made an effort not to think about it, but it was hard not to imagine what it would feel like for the frozen ground to lose traction beneath him and send his chair careening backwards, brakes squealing.

At the top of the hill, the circular building stood with a dozen sets of heavy steel doors shut tight. Realizing they led to individual lecture halls, Tavros dug for his schedule. LL 112. He found it immediately and slipped on in, only a minute or two late.

He then realized that he was looking down at a spacious lecture hall from the top of a long set of stairs with no corresponding ramp. Tavros had taken the back entrance. The main entrance was on the other side of the building, likely at the bottom of the hill.

Tavros was briefly certain that his stutter wouldn't plague him if he swore as colorfully as he wanted to.

Well, he wasn't turning around. Adapt, he reminded himself. Reaching for a solution, Tavros simply rolled over behind the last row, wedged himself into the corner by the outlet and set up shop, as casual as could be with his ears burning crimson. The class had already begun and did not interrupt itself on his account, so Tavros sank gratefully into his professor's drone, hiding in it. Along the top of a fresh notebook he scrawled 'BIOLOGY 1010' in his neatest text, and he left it at that, waiting patiently for pertinent information.

It never came. The professor was droning his 100-someodd students into a collective, temporary coma with the disclosure, and Tavros found himself glancing around curiously.

So. This was college.

Not far from him, a student had unearthed her cell phone and was tapping away at it beneath her desk. Tavros stole a look down at the professor. Could he even see this high up? Tavros didn't think so. Experimentally, he dug out his own phone and stole a subtle glance at his messages. No one seemed to care, and to his delight, his screen lit up immediately.

-apocalypseArisen began pestering adiosToreador-

AA: tell me everything.

AT: oH, mAN, aRADIA

AT: iT IS SO GOOD TO TALK TO YOU

AA: it's 0nly y0ur first day. did s0mething g0 wr0ng?

AT: nOT REALLY

AT: wELL

AT: kIND OF

AT: iT IS POSSIBLE

AT: tHAT i MANAGED TO UPSET MY ROOMMATE ALREADY

AT: oR HE SUFFERS FROM SERIOUS, UH, RAGE MANAGEMENT ISSUES

AT: aND MIGHT BE PRONE TO MASS MURDER RAMPAGES

AT: kIND OF SMALL FOR THAT THOUGH

AA: y0u d0n't need t0 be big t0 g0 0n a killing spree. m0ving bodies is all ab0ut leverage

AT: cAN YOU DO ME A BIG FAVOR

AT: aND NEVER TELL ME WHY YOU KNOW THAT

AA: 0_0

AA: h0w was your first class?

AT: uH, wELL, iF WE'RE BEING TRUTHFUL,

AT: iN A TRUTHFUL MANNER,

AT: i'M TECHNICALLY STILL IN IT

AA: tav!

AT: i KNOW, i KNOW

AT: iT'S JUST REALLY SLOW, AND i WANTED TO CHECK IN

AT: rEALLY BADLY

AA: well. y0u did. g0 pay attenti0n and pester me when y0u're d0ne.

AA: if y0u need me to come 0ut and rem0ve y0ur r00mate, my services are always available

AT: yOU CONTINUE TO BE CONSISTENTLY CREEPY

AT: iN MY FAVOR

AA:

Tavros smiled. The diamond emoticon had been their special symbol since they were no bigger than thirteen. At that age, it had seemed crucial to develop a secret code for some reason or other – possibly to foil the plans of other thirteen-year-olds (none of whom had the slightest bit of interest in their private conversations,) but the diamond was the only thing that had really stuck. Thumbs flying across the touch screen, he punched out one last message-

AT:

-and slipped the phone back into his bag. Aradia had always been good at keeping him in line. Not that he normally strayed too far out of it. But if he ever did, he expected she'd be there to correct him. It was a nice feeling.

Less nice was Tavros' mounting exhaustion as his first day dragged on. It was a never-ending gamut of hurry up and wait, slouching in stuffy classrooms while professors read disclosures in varying degrees of dullness only to tear across campus, map in hand, eyes on the clock, praying to be there in time to do it again. Navigating the cafeteria was more of a headache than he would have liked, and while the food was acceptable, he barely had time to taste it before he had to race away again, leaving curses on the air behind him.

He didn't meet a single new person that day, excluding his run-in with Sollux. The mood in his classrooms was stiff with newness and only the most gregarious of freshmen went out of their way to start fostering new friendships – one of which Tavros was not. By the time he managed to drag himself back up to Bode Hall, the sun was dipping low in the sky and he was too tired to bother making his way back down to the cafeteria. Finding his room still abandoned, Tavros stuffed down a granola bar, checked in with Aradia and fell into bed fully clothed. Even the thought of wrestling the shoes off his feet was too much to contend with.

The next day wasn't much better. Neither was the next one. When he looked back on that first week years later, it would only be half-remembered through a haze of exhaustion and fear. Karkat was rarely around, but when he was, he was short-tempered and snappish, and Tavros avoided his ire as much as possible. It wasn't difficult. Somehow just going to class and keeping up on homework was enough to drain him those first few days, and if Tavros had been of a mind to bond with his roommate, he wouldn't have been able to summon up the energy. And so it went.

The rain came on Friday. It was ice cold and fell with a ferocity that alarmed Tavros; summer rains were a blessing where he came from, something the earth cried out for, life-giving and crisp. Here, it pummeled everything in its path as flat as it could. It came down straight, sideways, he would have sworn even from the ground itself, and it froze him to the bone.

He was reluctant to leave the relative warmth of Elizabeth Hall when his last class of the day dismissed. It was still coming down, and he cringed at the idea of wheeling himself all the way back to Bode in his soaking woolen coat. The temptation to just stay put and curl up in a study lounge was almost overwhelming, but in the end, the siren song of dry clothes, a warm bed and the forgiving glow of his laptop won out, as he suspected it always would. There was no sense in affixing an umbrella to his chair when the winds would just rip it to shreds, so it was with a sigh of resignation that he began the ordeal.

He was absolutely certain he had never been so cold in his life. His fingers froze as numb as his legs and slipped clumsily over his wheels. Hawaii. He should have gotten it into his head to experience independence in Hawaii. Despite the downpour, or maybe because of it, Tavros made it back in record time, gasping as he rolled into the lobby. He shook out his mohawk, slid neatly into the elevator and punched the button to the seventh floor before cupping his hands and trying to breathe life back into them.

It was a failing mission. Those numb fingers were fumbling for his keys before he got down the hallway, and he was starting to wonder if Karkat would open up if he knocked very politely, but as it happened, there was no need. The door stood slightly ajar.

Alarm bells went off in Tavros' head. After only a week of living with Karkat, he was pretty sure he would never come home to see the door open for any reason. He'd never known anyone so shut down in his life, and inviting unwarranted social interaction was just not a thing Karkat did. Nervously, with limbs strangely heavy in foreboding, Tavros gave the door a tiny prod and let it swing open a little wider.

What he saw was a man.

There was a man in his bedroom. A stranger. A.. a clown? He whirled on Tavros, eyes wide and rolling under what had once been meticulously applied clown makeup, what was now a terrifyingly uneven mess of pigment running wild with sweat, tears and rainwater. He was tall, so tall, all lean angles and sharp corners, and his hair was a tangled rat's nest, as black as it could be and soaked through. He looked Tavros up and down, sliding into the most unnerving smile the boy had ever seen. Tavros' insides had frozen solid.

"Well, hey there, who might this little motherfucker be?" the stranger asked, his voice strangely restrained.

"I-I-uh-I-"

"I said, WHO THE FUCK MIGHT YOU BE MOTHERFUCKER?" His voice rose to a bone-crushing bellow. Tavros wheeled uncertainly backwards, bumping into the corner against his door, shaking too badly to properly escape. "It's not very motherfucking polite NOT TO ANSWER A MOTHERFUCKING QUESTION, IS IT?"

"I-"

"Gamzee!" Karkat had burst in so suddenly Tavros couldn't say when it had happened. But his arms were immediately around the furious stranger, pinning him into himself, and Tavros wondered what the hell Karkat thought he was doing. This man was huge. Dangerously skinny, but huge. He could probably snap Karkat's narrow torso in two. The stranger bucked and they tousled, but Karkat hung on tight, a litany of curses escaping his throat in guttural grunts and hisses. He couldn't hold out for long. But before Tavros could put his thoughts together coherently, Karkat's eyes were on him, and he was shouting.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing! Get the fuck out of here!" Tavros hesitated. "NOW!"

He didn't need to be told again. Courage shattering, Tavros spun his chair violently around and sped from the room, from the building, as far and as fast as he could go.


	3. Chapter 3

Bitter Medicine

Chapter Three

A/N: So, I wanted to thank everyone for the reviews and favs and alerts and all that good stuff. It really keeps me going! This chapter is why I wanted to write this doofy little thing, so I hope this is where things start to get interesting. If you've made it this far, thanks for hanging in there! No more boring stuff, I promise. :]

* * *

Tavros had no idea where he was going. He was barely even conscious of where he was, so deafening was the roar of panic in his ears. He fled for the sake of flight. All he wanted was to put as much distance between himself and the monster he had stumbled into as he possibly could.

But eventually, reason began to return. What had he done? He was sitting there in the downpour, shivering and breathless; why hadn't he gotten help? There was a lunatic loose in Bode Hall and he had abandoned his roommate to his fate like a coward! Tavros cursed himself. Had Karkat known him? How else had the man gotten into their room in the first place? But those eyes, the way they burned. The way Karkat had thrown himself at him. It didn't make any sense.

He had to do something. Tavros took a deep breath and turned his chair around. He had to fix this.

When his phone rang, he almost didn't answer. But it rang incessantly, and when it finally went to voice mail, it rang again. Against his better judgment, Tavros pulled into the closest underhang, wiped the excess water from his face and dig it from his pocket. The number was unfamiliar. With a feeling of deep foreboding, Tavros picked up,

"Sit down, you fucking- Tavros?" Karkat's voice sounded distant, distracted and strangely tight, but it was unmistakably his. "Oh thank christ-"

"Are you o-okay?" Tavros gasped. "W-what happened? Who w-was that? I'm o-on my way to g-get help, don't w-wor-"

"No!" Karkat cut him off harshly. "Don't fucking tell anyone! Don't – look, I need a massive fucking favor from you, okay?"

"A f-favor?"

"I know this looks bad, and I know this is like a metric fuckton of bullshit to lay on you, but I really need you to keep this quiet and clear out for a while, okay?"

"C-clear out?" Tavros' brain was refusing to process this information. The words sounded strange and meaningless in his ears. "I d-don't under-"

"Two hours." Karkat's voice dipped into a plead. "Just give me two hours. Don't tell anyone about this and don't come back for at least two hours."

Tavros looked out across the campus. The rain came down in cruel, icy sheets, spattering against buildings and trees and unfortunate students with the force of solid stone. Some dim and distant part of him wondered if it would turn to hale. "But," Tavros said dumbly, "it's raining."

"I know it's fucking raining." Karkat sounded so angry, so frustrated and desperate, and if Tavros didn't know better, his voice wavered as if close to tears. "I know how shitty this is of me, and I'm sorry, I'll – I'll find a way to make it up to you, alright? Just. Just fucking do this for me. Please."

Tavros' breath rose in perfect silver plumes before him. It was as if part of his essence escaped to join the collective aether of his species with every shaky exhale. Was this what he had gone looking for when he left the protection of his mother's arms and Aradia's sweet words? Was this being alive? For the briefest of moments, Tavros felt as if something big was looming over him, like what he did next would define the person he became in ways he could never even guess at. But it was only a moment, and then it was gone.

"O-okay," he murmured at last.

"Thank you," Karkat said. Relief colored his voice so dramatically he almost sounded like a different person. "Fuck. Thank you. Thank you. Two hours."

He hung up. Tavros found himself nodding his assent to no one in particular. Numbly, he stashed his phone and started out to – where, exactly? He hadn't made any friends yet, so crashing someone else's dorm was out. His anxiety soared at such a fever pitch that he'd nauseated himself, and he didn't think he could handle the smells and crowds of the mess hall yet. In the end, he found himself rolling up the ramp to the library. It was warm, quiet, and nearly deserted on a Friday night. Tavros was grateful.

He took the elevator to the second level, safe from the curious eyes of whatever poor librarian had gotten stuck with the worst shift of the week. Parking himself in a desolate corner, Tavros peeled off his coat and... and what? What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to think? This situation was so far beyond the scope of his experience, he was at a total loss. What had he just condemned Karkat too? Why in God's name had he even agreed?

He could have gotten on Pesterchum and spilled the entire situation to Aradia, but something stilled his hand. Hadn't Karkat been very specific on not telling anyone? Tavros was pretty sure a girl some two thousand miles away couldn't have done any damage, but still. What would he have even said? I'm cold, I'm terrified, I was just assaulted by a clown? The words sounded ridiculous even in his head. Not knowing what had happened, he didn't think he could explain it to anyone else.

In the end, he found himself perusing the stacks. His fingertips drifted over spine after weathered spine, looking for something and nothing. He just went looking. Art history, biology, poetry, literature. Finally a newer printing caught his eye, something he had read before; a familiar fantasy book, one of a series he had loved as boy. Without another thought he pulled it into his lap and started reading right there, not even bothering to go back to one of the tables. He liked the feeling of being surrounded on all sides by books. It felt safe.

He lost track of time. Maybe his brain was clamoring for distraction or outlet, but Tavros fell into the story in a total kind of way, and by the time he realized his phone was buzzing, it was nearing nine o'clock – much later than the two hours he had promised his roommate. When he slid his phone open, It was neither a call nor a pester, but a text from Karkat's number.

YOU CAN COME BACK NOW.

Well, if that wasn't generous of him.

The rain had reduced from a maelstrom to a drizzle, but it was still bitterly cold as Tavros pushed himself toward the dorms. It was almost unnaturally quiet, and thin tendrils of fear snaked their way up his spine in the desolation. He wasn't sure if he was more afraid of the trip back or what he would find when he got there.

Part of Tavros wished he'd never left home at all.

He didn't even bother with his keys. Instead, Tavros tapped softly at his own door, half hoping no one would answer. There was a shuffle, the sound of bare feet plodding across the floor, and then the door swung open on Karkat.

Tavros had never seen anyone look so exhausted. His skin was so pale it had taken on a grayish tint, and a tiny gash had been oozing blood down his left temple. It had dried to a dull, flaky brown, but Tavros still cringed. He looked so tiny, swallowed up in a sweatshirt that couldn't have belonged to him, so close to breaking.

"Well, come the fuck in," Karkat snapped.

Tavros did so.

The door shut behind them with a click. The room itself, Tavros noted, was a disaster. It looked as if two prize fighters had just gone three rounds inside it, which was close enough to the truth, he supposed. Karkat's chair had been knocked over and most of what was on his desk was now on the floor. His bedding was a tangled nightmare and notebook pages were strewn across the room, mingling with the wayward remains of what looked like a bag of Cheetos that had been unceremoniously sat on. Tavros' side seemed relatively untouched, save for the fact that the smoke alarm, normally affixed to the ceiling directly over Tavros' bed, now sat on his nightstand in a jumble of useless pieces. The window was open as far as it would go despite the biting night air, and the room stank of something heavy and sweet, something Tavros didn't recognize.

Flabbergasted, he turned to Karkat.

"Are you o-okay?" he asked.

Karkat groaned and slapped one hand over his bloodshot eyes, like the question was more than he could take. "Don't tell me you're going to be all fucking nice about this," he grunted.

Tavros frowned. How was he supposed to react? There was no manual for such a bizarre situation.

"I'm fine." Karkat slumped on his bed and raised his gaze to his roommate. "I'm just fucking peachy."

"What... what happened?" Tavros asked after a pause. Karkat sighed.

"Gamzee happened. You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

Tavros shook his head.

"Good. I know how fucked up this probably looks from the outside, and... well, that's probably pretty fucking accurate. But he doesn't mean to get like that. It doesn't happen very often anymore, actually, but he doesn't always do so fucking well with change, and there's been a lot of that lately-"

"Who _was_ he?" Tavros wondered. A wry smile stretched over Karkat's features.

"Gamzee Makara. My best fucking friend."

Tavros stared at him with naked incredulity. Karkat snorted a laugh.

"I fucking know, right? I must be as crazy as he is."

"W-where... where did he go?"

"Showering."

Tavros hadn't noticed the soft hiss that meant the bathroom was occupied, but he heard it now. Fear rippled through him. But before he could say anything, Karkat cut him off with a wave.

"He's fine now. He won't freak out again, I swear. He's actually really relaxed most of the time. Like two different fucking people. And he feels really awful about scaring you. I think he was just trying to say hello or some fucking thing, but when he's like that, he's..." Karkat gestured uselessly. "He just really needed to see me."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

A silence stretched between the two, awkward and delicate in equal measure. Finally, Karkat pushed one skinny hand through the wild mop his hair had become and tucked his legs up under himself, shoulders slumping with the weight of his problems.

"I'm really, really fucking sorry about this," he sighed. "He wasn't supposed to drop in like that. I only gave him a key for emergencies, which – well, I guess this was a pretty big fucking emergency, but still. I'm a shitface."

Something wriggled painfully in Tavros' stomach. He felt terrible for the boy. Whatever terror he still felt was fading into the background as sympathy welled up in his chest. He wanted to roll over and comfort his roommate but somehow thought that would end badly, so he settled for shifting in his chair and trying to summon up a smile.

"I-it's okay," Tavros said as bracingly as he could. "N-nothing bad happened, so-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, kid?" Karkat groaned. "Can't you, I don't know, tell me to go fuck myself or – or something?"

Tavros shrugged and Karkat made a sound of pure aggravation, though who it was directed at would remain a mystery.

"H-how did you, um, get my n-number?" Tavros asked suddenly. It had just occurred to him that they had never spoken long enough to exchange any information of any kind. "N-not that I mind you having it, um, I mean, you p-probably should-"

"Our welcome packets. Our RA listed our roommates' numbers on the contact info," Karkat huffed. "I was kind of pissed about you having mine at first, but I guess it came in handy."

Tavros nodded. It had.

"So, um..." Tavros groped for the right questions. "Is he a.. a student here?"

Karkat made a dismissive 'che' sort of noise. "No. Of course not. He probably couldn't handle it, and wouldn't get his act together long enough to try if he could. He lives in town. We both did, until I moved to campus."

"Is he..." Tavros struggled. "What's- I mean, um – what's w-wrong with him?"

"A lot of fucking things. A whole fucking lot of things. But you don't need to worry about it. He-"

At that moment, the bathroom door creaked open and the subject of the conversation stood almost shyly in the doorway, eyebrows knitted together in some strange mix of sheepishness, exhaustion, hope and shame. He was every bit as tall as Tavros thought, but he didn't look as _big _now, somehow. It was as if half his being had simply evaporated with whatever unruly rage Tavros had caught him in. His eyes no longer rolled or burned. In fact, they stood at a lazy half-mast and actually seemed very gentle. The wild black hair that had framed the angles of his face was still soaking from the shower, but he had pulled it back into a sort of pony tail, likely to keep any of it from destroying the face paint he had just reapplied. It still shone wet on his cheekbones. He was barefoot, but wearing the clothes he had come in – ratty jeans and a t-shirt that had once been black, but was now wavering towards gray.

Tavros felt a shiver of anxiety, but it wasn't too hard to keep the fear at bay. Had he not first met this man the way he had, he wondered if it would be possible to be afraid of him at all.

"Hey, motherfucker," Gamzee said. "You must be Tavros."

Tavros only nodded.

"Man," he went on, "I am so motherfuckin' sorry about all this. I just up and ran out of my medication so I came to see best friend over here, and it never o-fucking-curred to me that I might find a righteous little bro in his place. Never meant to up and scare you."

Tavros' lips wibbled in something approaching a smile. He shook his head several times before any words would come at all.

"I-it's, um. It's, I mean. I d-don't – it's o-kay, if you're o-okay-"

Before he could even stammer it out, Gamzee's face had melted into a lazy grin. "Well would you look at this cute little motherfucker, getting his absolution on. Wicked, my brother. Won't happen again. Karkat, you oughta take it upon your scrawny self to emulate some of the sick miracles this little guy is just spittin' my way."

Karkat looked like he would sooner die.

"Are-are you f-f-feeling b-better?" Tavros managed. He had never hated his stutter as much as he did in that moment, but Gamzee didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mind. The gangly intruder crossed the room in three strides and flopped across Karkat's bed, draping himself over his friend. He was instantly shoved away, but it didn't seem to bother him; his only response was a throaty chuckle.

"Yeah, bro, I'm feelin' so much motherfuckin' better. Nice of you to ask. You're lookin' a little motherfuckin' damp, though."

Tavros glanced down and realized that Gamzee was right. His clothes were still soaked through. His mother would have killed him herself if she had known he'd been wet and shivering all day. He'd almost forgotten to be cold, though; being afraid took up so much of his focus. He peeled off his rain-soaked jacket for the second time that night, hung it up and began digging for something dry.

"I'm, um, I'm j-just going to, um-"

Karkat waved him off. He had his hands full attempting to eject Gamzee from his bed entirely. Tavros snapped his jaw shut and quietly slipped into the bathroom, locking it behind him.

He sighed with relief.

A thousand thoughts tumbled through his head as he wriggled out of his wet clothes. So many, in fact, in such overwhelming volume, that they began to blur together and fade into a shapeless noise, a buzz that told him only that he was very tired and very cold. What he wouldn't have given for a nice hot shower at that moment. Tavros ran the tap until the water steamed, stuck his head under the faucet and scrubbed his choppy hair clean. He soaked a washcloth and scrubbed himself down, trying in vain to get warm. It was a losing battle. At last, he pulled his pajamas on, gave his head one final drying shake and turned to let himself out.

And hesitated.

He had taken his sweet time, that was certain. Part of Tavros wondered if he should wait a while longer, in hopes of Gamzee having already left, of avoiding the awkward situation he was pretty sure awaited him. But then how long to wait? He couldn't stay in the bathroom all night. Well, he could, but that was straying towards ridiculous, and he was trying to be braver. Adapt, he told himself yet again. Adapt.

He turned the knob.

Gamzee hadn't left. Rather, he had fallen asleep in Karkat's bed. Karkat was rubbing his temples like he had the grandpappy of all migraines, which Tavros didn't doubt. When the door swung open, he turned to face Tavros, features arranged in something between exasperation and apology.

"I know this has been, like, the worst fucking day for you, but it looks like he's down for the night. Is it okay with you if he crashes here? Just this once." He grit his teeth with every syllable, as if asking this favor was causing him physical pain. "It's safe. He won't even wake up once, I fucking promise."

In truth, it made Tavros extremely nervous. A few short hours ago, he had been convinced Gamzee would have murdered him where he sat if Karkat hadn't intervened. Maybe he would have. Tavros didn't like the idea of sharing the darkness with a volatile stranger one bit, even if he had seemed much nicer when calm, but Karkat's face was so drawn and pale; desperation was written in every line of him. Against his better judgment, Tavros felt himself nodding.

"Y-yeah. Of course. It's y-your room, t-too."

Karkat's eyes drifted shut for a fraction of a moment. He let out a shaky breath and shook his head in Tavros' direction. "You're way too fucking nice, kid. We're gonna have to fucking work on that or something."

Tavros took that as a thank you.

He crawled into his bed, snuggling down into the blankets and twisting until he was completely ensconced. Warm at last. But where he normally rolled toward the wall to sleep, tonight he faced Karkat's side of the room. No matter what Karkat said, he didn't think he could turn his back on the gangly creature, and sleeping was almost definitely out of the question. Tavros didn't know how long he sat awake, watching for any sign of motion in the darkness. Karkat had simply collapsed on his bed with his back to Gamzee, but they seemed to shift and roll in their sleep, limbs splaying every which way. It was the oddest situation Tavros had ever seen.

It was very late when it hit him. Maybe it didn't even count due to the strangeness of the circumstance, but Gamzee was the first person he'd ever met whose eyes hadn't immediately flicked to his wheelchair and back, shining with either fear or pity. In fact, he was certain it didn't count, but..

but still.

Still.

When Tavros finally drifted off, hugging a pillow to his chest the way he might have once hugged Tinkerbull, he dreamed of soft, sleepy eyes, bloodshot and half open, frightening and welcoming, eyes trained on his face, eyes that never strayed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: Quick side note! The lyrics attributed to the fictitious rap group "Midnight Crew" (I'm not funny, I know) actually belong to Lil Wayne, having been unceremoniously ganked from 'Sky's the Limit.' It wasn't my intention to reference an actual song, but.. oh my god, the lyrics were too good not to. I don't own it, etc etc.

* * *

Tavros had never slept well. Even as a child, he rested fitfully, jumping awake at any slight noise, the remnants of a nightmare hanging low around him more often than not. He had been concerned about the challenges living with a stranger might present, but nothing had worried Tavros more than whether he'd be able to get any rest at all rooming with a rambunctious college freshman. He'd lucked out with Karkat, in a way – prickly as the boy was, he definitely kept to himself. Tavros doubted he could have gotten through the first week with someone who talked until midnight.

While Karkat and Tavros had settled on a tenuous agreement that allowed them both enough rest – one that consisted mostly of not acknowledging each others' presence, but it was an agreement all the same – Tavros hadn't expected himself to be capable of dealing with the intrusion of a stranger in their space. It was surprising enough that he drifted off at all, but even more so when he slept straight through the next morning. Dawn came and went, thready beams of daylight slipping through the blinds and washing over the disaster that was their room, but Tavros barely stirred. He must have been exhausted.

In fact, he didn't truly wake until an alarmingly loud thunk shook the opposite end of the room, accompanied by a barrage of sleep-slurred obscenities and what almost sounded like a honk. Tavros bolted upright, startled from the place between sleeping and not with a dizzying abruptness. He blinked hard, trying to force his eyes into focus.

"Buhznuh," he grunted, "wha?"

Karkat was sitting up and already looking aggravated, like he'd woken up that way. A pile of limbs and hair was unfolding itself on the floor beside his bed, and Tavros realized with a start that it was a person. Wait, no. Gamzee. His name was Gamzee. The night before was a strange, blurry memory, too surreal to be concrete. But Karkat's friend was chuckling drowsily, and Tavros supposed that was proof enough that he hadn't imagined the whole ordeal. He couldn't decide if that was reassuring or not.

"Christ almighty," Karkat was spitting, "have you _heard _of personal space? You deserved that. Fucking – oh, and you woke the legless wonder, good fucking job."

Gamzee levied his gaze in Tavros' direction. A slow and sleepy smile spread over his features, almost unnervingly wide from under the smudged grease paint. Weird that he slept in it. ...well, weird that he wore it all, but weirder still to reapply it before crashing for the night.

"Sorry about that, little bro," he rasped in a voice graveled and hoarse from the theatrics of the night before. "Didn't mean to harsh your z's." Tavros shook his head, mohawk flopping forward into his eyes.

"No, that's, um, it's fine," Tavros managed, still not quite conscious enough to be as terrified as he rightfully should. "I, uh." He frowned. "What time is it?"

Karkat dug for his phone, grunted and flopped back. "Nine-thirty. Fuck."

Tavros panicked for a fraction of a moment before he realized it was Saturday. No classes, no obligations. In truth, Tavros hadn't really considered how he would spend his weekends. The days preceding had kept him so busy, so close to completely overwhelmed that being faced with the sudden reality of free time left him almost at a loss. How did one kill time in college?

And then there was the matter of the situation on the other side of the room. It didn't directly involve him, Tavros knew, but he _felt _involved, and it seemed rude just to scamper off. Not that scampering was really an option for him, but still. He didn't feel right about leaving.

"You know, Karbro," Gamzee was observing from his place on the carpet, "I think I could go for some motherfuckin' breakfast. Thoughts?"

Karkat rolled over slightly to shoot Gamzee an expression of moderate surprise. "What, really? You actually feel like eating something?"

Gamzee shrugged agreeably.

"Um," Tavros said. "If it's, uh, if it's still 9:30, I think you could still c-catch breakfast service. At the, um, dining hall, I mean."

"Shit, brother, why didn't you say so?" Gamzee rolled to his feet in a motion so easy and fluid that Tavros had to blink twice to be sure it had happened. "Let's up and get our mastication on, yeah?"

Karkat groaned, but he staggered out of bed without further complaint. As he bent to dig through the war zone that was his belongings for a hoodie to pull over his threadbare sleep shirt, Gamzee turned to Tavros, who hadn't moved.

"Well?" he asked.

"W-well?" Tavros echoed, confused.

"Well, don't you need to get your sick self up and outta that bed to partake of the motherfuckin' morning meal?"

It took Tavros a moment to work out what their guest – for lack of a better term – was even saying, but his ears glowed a modest pink when he did. "Oh, uh, well, I hadn't m-meant to go with – I mean, I w-wasn't suggesting, uh, that is-"

"Well, consider this a fuckin' suggestion." Gamzee cut him off with a toothy grin and motioned for him to rise. Tavros fiddled with the corner of his sheet.

"I'm, um, not really d-dressed, and it takes me a while to change sometimes, so-"

"You look fine to me, motherfucker. All comfy and shit."

Tavros opened his mouth to protest, but only managed to make a strange, halting sort of whinny. Karkat groaned impatiently as he yanked his sweatshirt over his head.

"He wants you to come, so just shut the fuck up, get your ass in that chair and make him fucking happy, all right?" he snapped. Tavros winced at the sharpness of his words, but Karkat's brow had knit itself together in something that seemed almost pleading. In spite of himself, Tavros relented.

"I guess, if you're s-sure."

Gamzee's grin stretched a little wider as Tavros tipped from bed to chair and stuffed his lifeless feet into a stray pair of sneakers. He grabbed his phone, keys and ID card, and they were off.

They made a motley little group, Tavros thought. Karkat stormed along in the lead while Gamzee brought up the rear, humming tunelessly. Tavros tried very hard not to be afraid of having his back to the man. The rain had stopped but the campus was still water-logged, and an undeniable bite of early autumn chill lingered in the air. It was kind of nice. Crisp, in a way. Clean. It was new to Tavros, and wasn't new what he had gone looking for in the first place?

If that was the case, he couldn't say he'd been disappointed so far. Participating in a cross-campus weirdo parade was definitely new. A cripple, a clown and a hermit go to breakfast – was there a joke in there? There had to be.

The dining hall closest to Bode was a compact, single story building at the crest of one of the more modest hills dotting Pickering University. On the few occasions that Tavros had ventured in, it had been packed to bursting and reeking of chicken fingers, and it wasn't much different that morning. The crowds were a little thinner, probably a product of all the sensible students sleeping in, but the stench of grease met them like a wall of solid matter. Karkat gagged a little.

"Do you know how much we're paying for this shit?" he groused as they slid into line. "We're going to bankrupt the country by defaulting on our student loans in ten years, the least they could do is give us some decent fucking food."

"I d-don't think it's s-so bad," Tavros offered timidly. "They, uh, I mean, they at l-least give us, you know, a g-good selection."

"This optimistic little motherfucker has his thinkpan screwed on just right," Gamzee observed. "Looks like a pretty respectable spread to me."

"You wouldn't know good food if it fucking kicked your ass in a dark alley, took your mother's pearls and shot down your parents in cold fucking blood, leaving you to take back the night in their name."

"Dude, was that a Batman reference?"

"Yes, shitsponge, that was a Batman reference."

The line led them through the winding, maze-like setup of counters and serving tables, offering everything from luke-warm waffles to raw fruit. It was slim pickings, being so close to the end of first service, but they all managed to pile their trays with something vaguely edible in appearance and trundle towards the cash register. Karkat swiped his ID twice – once for himself, once for Gamzee. Tavros had thought it odd that they could use their meal plan balance for non-residents, but he saw the sense in it now. Together, the strange little party set up camp at a table designed to seat four, and by necessity, Tavros found himself situated between his roommate and their visitor; he always took the end of the table. It should have been an unbearably awkward arrangement, but he found he didn't mind so much. Maybe things had gotten so out of control that they'd all together blown an awkward fuse. Tavros was fine with that.

Of the three of them, he was undoubtedly eating the most. Gamzee hadn't selected much in the first place and Karkat picked at his food as irritably as Tavros supposed he should have expected. For his part, Tavros was tucking in. His appetite had always been healthy, and he was surprised to find that despite the situation, he was famished. Silently, he vowed never to skip dinner again, no matter how dire the circumstance.

Tavros was so involved with his meal, in fact, that it took a moment for him to notice that he was being stared at. Gamzee sat to his right, slumped into such a pronounced slouch that they were almost on eye level. An uneaten chunk of ham was stuck to his abandoned fork, as if he'd simply forgotten what he was doing when he crossed his arms, leaned his elbows on the tabletop and started peering at Tavros like some Delphic mystery was unfolding before his eyes. Karkat had wound up into a rant on the miserable state of something-or-other and paid the strange behavior no attention, but his words began fading to a dull, meaningless buzz for Tavros. It was hard to hear anything over the roar of that _stare. _This close, Tavros could see the tiny lines and cracks in his new acquaintance's face paint, like rivers and valleys in an alien terrain. He could see the split in Gamzee's lip, the faintest hint of malnutrition in the graceful inward arc from cheek bone to chin, and the exact points where what were once crisp edges of white, black and gray now faded seamlessly into each other. Gamzee's eyes no longer burned, but Tavros couldn't call them lazy, either. He didn't know what to call them.

He could feel the blood pulsing in his veins as terror warred with confusion and something Tavros couldn't name. His breaths became shallow and soundless; he was too afraid to exhale. Eventually, Karkat did notice what was happening, and his verbal onslaught petered off into an uneasy silence. For a moment, the longest of Tavros' life, all three boys were perfectly still.

"What?" Tavros finally whispered.

Gamzee melted into a smile. "Tell me about yourself, motherfucker."

"Huh?"

"You, bro, tell me all about your righteous little self."

Whatever spell had fallen around the group was broken. The strange tension evaporated and Karkat leaned back in his chair, either irate or relieved – it was hard to say which. Tavros exhaled shakily.

"W-what d-did you want to kn-know?" He forced the words out around his stutter, cursing himself with every syllable. Gamzee gave a languid shrug.

"Why don't we start with the motherfuckin' basics, man? Where the hell do you call home?"

"N-new Mexico." Somehow, the very thought of the place soothed Tavros' nerves. He even attempted a tiny smile. "I've n-never been so f-far away before."

"Shit, really?" Gamzee looked pleased. "Can't say I've up and been out that way myself. I don't travel too much."

"Me neither," Tavros admitted.

"Well look at that, brother, that's one thing we got in common. Bet there's more. What else?"

"GodDAMN, Gamzee, shut up!" Karkat snarled. "Stop fucking interrogating the kid! It's weird!"

"I d-don't mind," Tavros responded, surprising himself even as he spoke. It was a little weird, sure, but it was better than shouldering the brunt of Gamzee's stare, and if he was honest, Tavros wasn't sure he could remember the last time someone had seemed so interested in him. "He, uh, he can ask w-whatever he wants."

"Oh Jesus," Karkat muttered.

It was hard to attribute too strong an emotion to the sedate individual Gamzee appeared to be that morning, but it seemed almost like delight crinkled at the edges of his eyes. "Well in that case. Favorite color?"

"Uh, w-well, orange, I guess?"

"Favorite game."

"F-fiduspawn Advance."

"Favorite album?"

"Tales from the G-grist," Tavros admitted with a sheepish smile. The Midnight Crew was not a good band, by any stretch of the imagination. Their music wasn't deep or political, and frankly, Tavros' taste in rap was terrible, but-

He couldn't even get through a self-deprecative thought before Gamzee slapped the table with an open palm, startling half the dining hall in the process.

"Ain't gotta lie when I tell you I'm the illest," the clown exploded, seemingly out of no where, "my flow is so nasty, just like CY Phyllis!"

The verse flew from Tavros' mouth like an automatic response. "Self-made G, them bitches know the business, relying on rap, but in the kitchen I'm a chemist!"

"And when I was five," they wailed together in a terrible harmony, "my favorite movie was Gremlins! Ain't got shit to do with this, just thought I should mention!"

Karkat slumped forward, head to the table, in a wordless groan of misery. The entire dining hall was now staring slack-jawed, but Tavros didn't notice. He and Gamzee were too busy dissolving into a laughing fit. It was just so gloriously, foolishly funny for some reason. Gamzee's laugh was a rough, cracking thing, something between a bark and a rumble, and it mixed with the halting, hiccuping giggles Tavros had always hated in a strangely complimentary way.

"I cannot even fucking deal with this shitalanche," Karkat moaned. "Could you possibly consider shutting the fuck up before we get kicked out of our own fucking dining hall?"

"Relax, man," Gamzee was snickering. "We're not hurtin' a single thing, just up and enjoying a good time with some sick beats. Oughta try it sometime."

"Just because you've finally found another shitface with terrible fucking taste in music doesn't mean you get to start making me want to murder you more than I normally do, which, for the record, is a whole fucking lot."

Gamzee reached across the table to give Karkat's hair a ruffle. Tavros half expected Karkat to bite him, like a particularly ill-tempered chihuahua or something, but to his surprise, Karkat actually looked semi-mollified by the contact. How did he do that? Tavros opened his mouth to ask, but a pair of shadows cast themselves over their table and the words died in his throat.

"Hey," Sollux said. Next to him was someone Tavros hadn't met, a thin blonde in a pronounced slouch, aviator shades obscuring most of his face.

When no one responded, Tavros realized with a start that he was being addressed. "Oh, uh, hey!" he said. "Good morning."

"Tavros, right?" Sollux jutted his chin towards the others at the table. "Who're your friends?"

" Who the hell are _you, _douchebag?" Karkat snapped,

"This, uh, this is K-karkat, my roommate," Tavros stuttered. The tension had evaporated when he and Gamzee began making fools of themselves, but it was building again, and it made him nervous. "And, uh, Gamzee. Karkat's f-friend. Gamzee. This is S-sollux, guys, he, uh, he lives in the n-next room, and, uh." Tavros blinked at the other boy, unsure of how to continue.

"Dave Strider," the stranger replied. "Rooming with Sollux. I'm assuming I haven't met you yet because neither of you ever fucking shower."

"Fuck you, kid!" was Karkat's eloquent response.

"So, uh," Tavros intervened, "are you g-guys getting b-breakfast?"

"We already ate," Sollux responded. He was frowning. "We were just on out way out. What was all that fucking ruckus last night? I knocked but no one answered."

Karkat and Tavros immediately traded glances, but Gamzee only managed to snort a laugh into his arms. Tavros suspected it had something to do with the way Sollux pronounced 'ruckus'.

"Uh," Tavros began.

"How about none of your fucking business?" Karkat responded.

Dave glanced back and forth between his roommate and the others, one blonde eyebrow quirking just over the upper rim of his shades.

"Rough sex?" he asked.

The noise of indignation and flat-out fury that escaped from Karkat was only barely human. Tavros blushed a violent crimson that would have been visible from space on anyone of a fairer complexion. Gamzee just laughed, but that was the expected response of someone wearing clown makeup and reeking of whatever-it-was.

"That's disgusting and you're disgusting for suggesting it." Karkat seethed.

Tavros handled things with a little more tact.

"T-that, uh, w-was not the, um, the s-situation, as f-far as I can t-tell, but, it was more like, uh." He paused, searching for a plausible explanation. "They, uh, hadn't s-seen each other in a while, and I guess they just, you know, g-got a little... rambunctious, reuniting. S-sorry."

"Really?" Dave asked. "Because it sounded like rough sex. Though I can see how that could happen. Haven't seen your buddy in a while, slap him five, take him hard against the wall, totally normal."

Karkat was reduced to wordless splutters of rage. Gamzee just grinned foolishly; it probably did nothing to bolster their argument, but Tavros wasn't sure that was the thing to be focusing on at the moment. Beet red, he attempted a weak, tittering laugh.

"Yeah," he agreed, "it's m-must have sounded, uh, not v-very good. I'll m-make sure they, you know, tone it d-down."

Sollux continued to frown. Tavros got the feeling that the only reason he had asked as tactfully as he had was out of something like concern for the little crippled guy in the next room. It probably had sounded pretty bad from their end, come to think of it. So Tavros tried his best to smile genuinely, as if to assure the taller boy that no, he had not been viciously beaten, no attempts on his life had been made – it hadn't gone quite far enough for that. Sollux searched Tavros' face for a moment before his expression crumpled into something more flippant than serious. He believed him. Good.

It never occurred to Tavros to wonder why he was covering for Gamzee. He had kicked Karkat's ass and was clearly unbalanced to some degree; Tavros wasn't convinced he wouldn't still hurt one or both of them, or even someone else. Every ounce of common sense Tavros had told him not to cover for a dangerous man, to tell someone – Feferi, maybe – about everything that happened and let an authority figure handle it. Maybe it was a mistake not to. But Karkat's eyes had begged him, nakedly and desperately, like he was screaming out for help, and Tavros couldn't ignore it.

He felt compelled to help them both, and he didn't know why.

"Well, whatever," Sollux was saying. "Just keep it down to a dull fucking roar or something. I guess we'll see you around."

Tavros nodded enthusiastically while Karkat only glowered. Sollux turned towards the exit and Dave followed, tossing them a wave over his shoulder. Karkat returned it with his index finger. When they were out of sight, Tavros let out a sigh of relief.

"Isn't that motherfuckin' crazy, best friend?" Gamzee was chuckling. "You an' me."

"Fuck," was the only word Karkat could spit out.

They finished their meal quickly after that. Karkat and Tavros were both eager to get out of the dining hall's close quarters, and Gamzee had almost finished what little food he'd selected in the first place. Soon they were breaking out into the sunshine and making the trek back to Bode, well-fed but uneasy. Tavros cleared his throat and took a valiant stab at conversation.

"So, uh, Gamzee, were you and Karkat going to h-hang out today?" he asked, wincing inwardly the moment he said it. He hoped it didn't sound like he was asking to come along or anything.

"Nah, little bro, I've gotta grab my shit and get my lazy ass down to work here in a bit. Maybe tomorrow."

"Not likely," Karkat grumped. Gamzee just grinned.

"Where d-do you work?" Tavros asked, a note of shyness in his voice.

"Aw, motherfucker, it's completely sick. Wicked little piercing parlor downtown."

"They let this fucker stab people with sharp objects," Karkat interjected as they slipped inside and took the elevator to the seventh floor. "For money. It's insane."

Tavros did have to admit, it sounded a little on the crazy side. Gamzee just waggled his eyebrows – one of which was pierced twice. It suited him.

"I'll have to show you sometime," he was saying. "You'd fuckin' love it. If you're motherfuckin' cool with that, I mean."

Tavros blinked. Gamzee was watching him carefully – as carefully as someone like Gamzee could, anyway, waiting for a certain reaction, a tell of some kind. It took Tavros a minute to decipher what was really being asked. Gamzee wanted to know if _they_ were cool. If they could keep talking. There was a hesitation lacing Tavros' mind; he wasn't likely to forget the way Gamzee's voice had nearly ripped him in two. He wasn't sure it was safe.

But... everyone had problems, right? Gamzee seemed nice. Really nice. Strange and funny and a little bit terrifying, and maybe it was risky, but before Tavros had even made up his mind, he felt himself nodding.

"Yeah." His voice was softer than he'd intended it to be. "Yeah, I'd l-like that. I think."

Gamzee split into a grin, which seemed to be his default expression, but where his smile had so far been lazy and noncommittal, it now seemed lined with genuine enthusiasm. Like Tavros had just made his day. As Karkat fought with the lock to their door, Gamzee dug in his pocket, unearthed a sharpie, seized Tavros' hand and scribbled something on the top of it.

"Pester me later, Tavbro," he said.

Tavbro?

Karkat gestured for Gamzee to get his ass inside and their lanky acquaintance obliged, gathering what few things he had brought and tweaking Karkat's nose on his way back out.

"Honk honk," he said. Karkat looked ready to deck him one.

And then he was gone.

Tavros glanced down at his hand. Gamzee had scrawled his chum handle in an untidy script leaning dramatically to the left. terminallyCapricious.

The words sounded ominous to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

A/N: So. Uh. I would like to formally apologize for the two and a half month hiatus, which wasn't a hiatus so much as me dropping off the face of the earth. For the record, _I am very very sorry. _Thank you so much for all the reviews and continued support! (Even as I was a huge non-writing douchebag. Sorry!) I know this chapter is a little weird and transitory, which is kind of why I didn't want to write it, but never fear! The next one should be out in relatively short order. Again, guys, thanks so much! If you have questions or just want to kick me a few times, my tumblr is antioxidantsuperhero and my chumhandle, as ever, is cantankerousMaiden.

Proceed!

* * *

-carcinoGeneticist began pestering grimAuxiliatrix-

CG: I HAVE A PROBLEM.

CG: LIKE, A REALLY FUCKING BIG PROBLEM. THIS PROBLEM WOULD HAVE ITS OWN GRAVITATIONAL PULL IF MAGICALLY CONVERTED INTO MATTER. JUST ANOTHER THRILLING DAY IN THE ASS-BACKWARDS THREE RING CIRCUS THAT IS MY FUCKING LIFE.

GA: Would This Be An Ass-Backwards Three Ring Circus Of Dark Miracles By Any Chance

CG: HAR DEE FUCKING HAR.

CG: ACTUALLY, THIS IS KIND OF ABOUT GAMZEE.

CG: AND BY KIND OF I MEAN COMPLETELY.

GA: Whats Wrong

GA: Did He Have Another Break

GA: Do You Need Me To Call Someone

CG: NO! JESUS FUCK, NO, NOTHING LIKE THAT.

CG: WELL, HE ALMOST HAD A BREAK LAST NIGHT, BUT WE EXPECTED THAT, REMEMBER? CRISIS AVERTED. HE'S FINE NOW. OR I THINK HE IS, ANYWAY.

GA: Whats The Problem Then

CG: IT'S MY FUCKING ROOMMATE.

GA: I Thought You Said You Liked Your Roommate

CG: I SAID HE NEVER FUCKING SAID ANYTHING AND DOESN'T AGGRAVATE ME AS MUCH AS HE COULD.

GA: Thats As Close To Liking People As You Normally Get

CG: SHUT UP. IT'S JUST A FUCKING MESS, OKAY.

GA: Tell Me About It

CG: GAMZEE SORT OF LOST HIS SHIT LAST NIGHT SO HE CAME TO FIND ME, LIKE HE'S SUPPOSED TO, BUT I GOT HIS MESSAGE TOO LATE AND HE BEAT ME THERE. MY ROOMMATE WALKED IN ON HIM.

GA: Oh

GA: Oh God

GA: Is He Alright

CG: THAT'S THE THING, HE'S JUST FUCKING PEACHY. GAMZEE SCARED HIM GOOD AND I THOUGHT FOR FUCKING SURE HE'D RUN SCREAMING TO THE RA OR COPS OR SOMETHING, BUT FAR AS I CAN TELL, HE DIDN'T TELL A SOUL. HE SEEMED FUCKING FINE WITH IT, ASIDE FROM SHITTING HIS PANTS IN TERROR. NOT THAT I CAN BLAME HIM.

GA: Unusual

CG: WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. THE AWARD FOR HIGH HOLY EMPRESS OF UNDERSTATEMENT GOES TO KANAYA MARYAM FOR THE FUCKING FIFTH YEAR RUNNING.

GA: You Handled It I Assume

CG: YEAH. WASN'T TOO BAD. WE STRIFED A LITTLE AND I SMOKED HIM OUT AND HE WAS FINE. THIS KID, THOUGH. JESUS, KANAYA. HE LET GAMZEE CRASH IN THE ROOM WITH US. AFTER ALL THAT.

GA: I Admit Its Curious Behavior But As It Works To Your Advantage In A Delicate Situation Im Not Sure I See The Conflict

CG: THE FUCKING CONFLICT IS I THINK THEY MADE FRIENDS.

CG: GAMZEE WAS ALL OVER THIS KID. IT WAS FUCKING AWFUL. HE GAVE HIM HIS CHUMHANDLE AND EVERYTHING. TAVROS HAS TO BE THE STUPIDEST LITTLE SHIT I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE, AND I KNOW PEOPLE WHO MAKE A POINT OF REDEFINING IDIOCY. WHO THE FUCK BEFRIENDS SOMEONE LIKE GAMZEE AFTER AN EPISODE?

GA: Present Company Excluded I Assume

CG: WELL FUCKING OBVIOUSLY.

CG: IF THERE WAS EVER A CROTCH SNIFFING DOUCHEBAG DUMBER THAN TAVROS, IT'S ME. BUT WE ALL KNEW THAT. STAYING ON TOPIC.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?

GA: Why Do You Have To Do Anything

GA: Isnt It Good For Gamzee To Socialize

CG: WELL YEAH, BUT NOT LIKE THIS. THIS KID IS DELICATE, KANAYA. HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

GA: Maybe Youre Not Giving Him Enough Credit

GA: Gamzee Needs To Learn To Depend On Other People

GA: People Who Are Not You

GA: Its Too Big Of A Burden For One Individual

CG: THIS KID HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S WALKING INTO.

GA: It Seems He Has Some Idea

GA: And If He Chooses To Pursue A Friendship With Gamzee In Light Of That Information Then Maybe You Should Respect That Decision

CG: I DON'T GET IT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL FOR LOCKING HIM UP AND THROWING AWAY THE KEY.

GA: Its True I Think Gamzee Is Dangerous And Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

GA: And That Worries Me

GA: But If Hes Going To Try To Function In Mainstream Society Then Socialization Is Very Important

GA: This Could Be A Good Thing For Both Of You

CG: AND THE CRIPPLE WITH THE FUCKING LITANY OF ANXIETY DISORDERS? IS IT GOOD FOR HIM?

GA: I Dont Know Him Well Enough To Say

CG: Do You

CG: GODDAMMIT, KANAYA.

GA: Im Always Here To Provide The Voice Of Reason

GA: If Not Outright Common Sense

CG: HOLYOKE IS MAKING YOU SNARKY.

CG: SNARKIER.

CG: I DON'T LIKE IT.

-carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix-

-carcinoGeneticist began pestering grimAuxiliatrix-

CG: THANKS.

-carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix-

Karkat snapped his laptop shut a little harder than he should have. She was right. She was usually right. It was one thing he hated about Kanaya, no matter how often it worked to his advantage.

Tavros was sitting at his desk across the room, eyes on his computer and buried in a small mountain of text books. He studied a lot, Karkat noted. How much work could he even have in the first week? Probably one of those obnoxious a-type personalities that had to have everything done three months in advance. Not that Karkat would know, because Kanaya was right and he knew jack shit about the kid. Goddamn her.

"Hey," Karkat barked. Tavros jumped and looked over. "So. About last night-"

"It's okay," Tavros assured him, spinning his chair around to meet his roommate's eyes. "You, uh, don't have to apologize o-or anything."

"I wasn't going to," came Karkat's peevish response.

"Oh."

An awkward silence descended on the pair. Tavros fiddled with the sleeve of his sweatshirt while Karkat glared hard at a discolored patch of carpet, stained from god only knew what. When he finally cleared his throat, he did so grudgingly; this was hard for him.

"I was going to thank you."

Tavros looked up, hesitation written in every line of his face.

Karkat gestured as he groped for the words. "For dealing with it. And, I mean - fuck, you know what I mean."

Tavros nodded slowly. "I think.. I think I do."

"I, uh..." Karkat's frown became a little more pronounced. "I know I've kind of been a shit this week, but that's not going to fucking change. So. Deal with it."

In return, a tiny, shy smile began creeping its way over Tav's features. "I think... I think I can handle it."

The boys regarded each other a moment more before Karkat splayed himself out across his bed. Some kind of unspoken agreement had been reached and the atmosphere changed accordingly, whatever hostility and awkwardness they harbored softening around the edges and preparing to evaporate. Karkat jutted his head in the direction of Tavros' book pile, eyebrows raised.

"Trying to power your way through the entire semester in an afternoon or what?"

"Oh." Tavros grinned almost bashfully. "Heavy course load."

"We've been here a _week._ Most of these dickwipes still haven't bought their fucking books yet."

Tavros shifted self-consciously. "W-well, to tell you the truth, uh, I wasn't really sure what to do today, so I just... thought I'd keep busy. I guess I'm not v-very social."

Karkat shrugged. "In a socially disabled loser-off, I'd kick your ass, kid. You know how many people I met this week, excluding you?"

Tavros did not.

"Fuck all. So you've got me beat by at least one or two. What's the skinny prick like?"

"The skinny...?"

Karkat rolled his eyes. "The one with the lisp."

"Oh! Sollux. Uh, well." It was Tavros' turn to shrug. "I don't really know. We only talked once, and it was kind of.. in passing."

"Well, I guess we can kiss a positive first impression good-bye."

Tavros almost grinned a little. "Do you care?"

"_Fuck _no."

He didn't think so.

"I don't know," Tavros admitted, "he seemed okay - I mean, uh, he backed off fast enough when we met, and, you know, that's a good sign. To be honest, though, he seems a little intimidating. Him and his roommate."

Karkat's eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline. "You would still call the two of them intimidating after living through the last twenty-four hours? Jesus christ on a fucking pogo stick, kid, no one should be able to intimidate you anymore. You should basically be passing into the upper echelons of intimidation tolerance nirvana or something."

Tavros actually laughed at that. It was more of a self-deprecative chuckle, but Karkat was almost surprised to hear it coming from him.

"I don't think that's how it works," Tavros assured him, "but, I guess, on the upside, things can't get much weirder than... uh..."

"Than a mentally unbalanced, quasi-homicidal juggalo showing up in your fucking dorm room," Karkat supplied, explaining the situation in simpler terms than Tavros could have, and his roommate's response was to nod enthusiastically.

"Yes. That. I don't think it can get much weirder than that."

"I'd bite your tongue on that count," Karkat muttered, rolling over. "So?"

"So what?"

"So, are you ever going to ask what the fucking deal is there, or just roll around town picking daisies and shit like it never even happened?"

"Daisies grow up here?" Tavros asked, mystified. Karkat made an aggravated noise.

"No, asshole - well, maybe, I don't know because I'm not exactly up on the habits of localized flora and fauna and whatever the fuck else, but that's not the point. What I mean is, you haven't asked a whole lot of questions about the..." He frowned, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looked for the right way to approach it. "Look, someone like Gamzee shows up in someone's room, they don't just say 'okay sure' and invite them to fucking breakfast."

"He kind of, uh, invited me, technically."

"Shut up. You're taking this way, way too well and I want to know why."

Tavros took a moment to gather his thoughts before responding. It was hard to say. It wasn't like Tavros was particularly adept at dealing with unfamiliar situations on the fly, and he had no way to explain what had happened or his response to it. He just didn't have the words. Eventually, he shrugged, a strange little smile playing at his lips.

"Dunno," he said. "It seems really, I guess, personal? Obviously. And maybe not my business, but, I mean, you both seem like good people, and I'd like to help, if I can. You know, with, uh. Whatever's going on, exactly."

Karkat pushed himself up to stare appraisingly at Tavros for a long while, and finally, the boy sighed. "I guess you deserve an explanation, but I don't think you're ever going to fucking ask for one, so whatever, it's like.. okay, it's like this. Gamzee and I have been friends since we were kids, right? He's dumb as hell sometimes, but he's a good guy. And it's not like there are a whole lot of people that can put up with me."

Tavros' eyebrows raised in what was almost a semi-sarcastic display of surprise - _really? _- and Karkat flipped him off.

"He's got problems. Which you're already acquainted with. Stuff he's medicated for, and it's really not a big deal most of the time. But he's just really dependent on me to stay level, I guess, and I don't think that's going to change." Karkat's face scrunched, like he was somewhere between laying down a rule and asking permission. "He'll be around sometimes. I mean. He fucking needs me."

Tavros thought this over. He tilted his head at Karkat in an appraising way, something like understanding in his eyes. "Maybe, uh, the next time it happens, just text me or something? You know, just some forewarning. Like the Batsignal!"

"Batshitsignal," Karkat ammended. "There won't be a next time. But, if there is, I'll give you a heads up. But there won't be."

"But just in case."

"Just in case."

Tavros nodded, happy with this compromise. He was happy to be talking with his roommate with something approaching civility, truthfully. He was beginning to suspect that maybe, given time, they could kinda be friends - sorta. That was an exciting prospect.

"So, are you going to IM him?"

Tavros blinked. It wasn't a question entirely out of left field, but it felt like it. "Gamzee?"

"No, the fucking Pope, you blithering toolbag. I hear he's big into social networking now. Real fucking chatterbox. Yes, Gamzee." Karkat jutted his chin at the handle his friend had written on his roommate - which was almost irritating, as there was no need for it. He just as easily could have written it on their whiteboard or a spare scrap of paper or something. Jackass. "He doesn't reach out very often. I'm not saying you should, since he's obviously a huge fucking douchecanoe loaded down with enough baggage to capsize himself, and only an idiot would willingly walk into a situation like that, and-"

Tavros cut the rant off with a gentle shake of his head. "I don't, uh. I guess I don't really know yet." Truth was, it was a frightening thought. In their narrow hallway hours before, Tavros had nodded his assent and his gut instinct was still to follow through, but it was laced with a hesitancy he couldn't shake. "Does... I mean, uh. Does he actually want me to, or, you know, was he just being nice?"

Karkat's eyes narrowed. "I'm not going to answer that on grounds that any possible outcome of this situation could bite me square in the ass."

"Oh. That's, uh. Actually not very helpful."

"I'm not a helpful person," he huffed, digging around in the calamity his side of the room had become until he found his DS and flopping back, apparently at his toleration limit for casual conversation. "But, I mean. It's up to you. Obviously."

As the familiar beeps and boops of the DS start screen filled their room, giving way to the soundtrack of some game Tavros hadn't played, he leaned back in his wheelchair, worried his lower lip between his teeth and began waging a silent debate with himself.

"I'll think about it," he finally replied, though Karkat had long since stopped listening.

And he did.

For nearly a week, Tavros thought about it. The spiked, slanted letters Gamzee had scrawled gradually wore off his hand, but he wasn't in any danger of forgetting the distinctive handle. The words terminallyCapricious echoed in the back of his mind day in and day out. Slowly, he began to adapt to his new life; everything was easier the second week, and the frenetic pace of his first few days began to settle into something like a stable schedule. His classrooms and the hallways leading to them became familiar. He began adjusting to the foreign autumn chill, though learning to dress warmer was partially responsible for that. Classes, homework, even the occasional dinner run with Karkat - it all began to ring with a note of normalcy, and Tavros was grateful. Relieved, even. Some tiny, incredulous part of him was starting to believe it might be possible. He might be able to do this.

But those words. Those _words. _They hung low over him everywhere he went, a constant reminder of his crippling indecision.

"I think you should just do it."

Tavros shifted his shoulder so his phone was propped more flatly against his ear, leafing through a textbook with one free hand and uncapping a highlighter with the other. "Of course you do. That's always your advice."

"When have I advised you to IM a potential psychopath before?" Aradia wondered. Her voice sounded distant, and Tavros thought he heard laughter in the background. Her dorm, as it turned out, was significantly less peaceful than his, if Karkat's occasional explosions were discounted.

"No," Tavros grunted, "I mean, when I get like this about anything, your advice is always to just do it, even when you know it's not that simple."

"It's not that simple because you complicate things." If it were anyone else, Tavros might have been hurt by such an observation, but coming from Aradia, it rang true. "I mean it. Stop freaking out about it and just message the guy."

"What do I say? Hi, remember me, remember that super awkward situation last week that you probably never want to talk about again, want to hang out?"

"You want to hang out with him?" Aradia's voice was suddenly colored with curiosity and Tavros almost groaned.

"No, I mean - that was just an example. A bad example. See? It's too weird. I can't do this."

"You can so. And if you didn't want to, you wouldn't still be obsessing about it."

"Yes I would," Tavros argued, almost petulantly. "I obsess about everything."

An exasperated noise meant, two thousand miles away, Aradia was flopping across her bed, hair fanned out dramatically in faux-desperation. Tavros knew her so well he could see the splay of her limbs and the way she buried her face briefly in her pillow just for effect. In spite of himself, he smiled.

"Okay, look," she said, and she was using her I Mean Business tone now. "You're going to run into him again eventually anyway, right? I mean, the likelihood of never again seeing your roommate's crazy best friend is pretty slim. If you never contact him, it's going to be super awkward when he shows up next."

Tavros stopped highlighting. He hadn't considered that.

"Really, the only graceful way out of this is to message him. Pronto." She sounded smug. Tavros bet she looked smug. "The longer you wait, the worse it's going to be."

"But, it's already been forever, won't it be weird now?" Panic was starting to curl around Tavros' chest; he didn't know why this mattered so much, but it did. It absolutely did.

"Tav, it sounds like this dude pretty much personifies weird. Just say you've been really busy with class or something. What's got you so hung up on it, anyway? I'd have thought you'd be avoiding someone that volatile like the plague."

Tavros huffed, blowing his deflated mohawk out of his eyes. Normally, she'd be right. "I don't know. It's a bizarre situation."

"But you want to hang out with him."

"No! Well, maybe. I don't know!"

There was a pause. The bass of Dave's music was pulsing softly through their shared wall, a sound so semi-constant Tavros was almost starting to tune it out. "Is he cute?" she asked.

"Aradia!"

"Is he?" she insisted. "This isn't like you, I need to know!"

"Shut up!" Tavros was moaning. "It's - it's not like that, I mean, I don't even know him, and, that's - it's not that simple!"

"Holy crap." Aradia sounded floored. "I didn't even know you had a type."

"I don't!"

"I need a picture."

"I'm not getting you a picture!"

"Do you think his facebook profile's set to public?"

"Aradia!" Tavros wailed a second time. He was seriously considering hanging up on her. "Seriously, stop! It's.. I don't know, okay? I don't know why it's a big deal." For what had to be the hundredth time, Tavros' mind drifted to that moment at the breakfast table, to the strange chasm that had opened up beneath him and the painted intruder. He had played it back so many times and still wasn't sure what had happened, or what it meant - if anything at all. "He just.. he really seems like, I guess, like he needs a friend."

Aradia was quiet. Tavros was almost ready to apologize for speaking so sharply, but when she spoke, there was no irritation in her voice. She sounded thoughtful. "Then I guess you'd better message him, huh?"

With a suddenness that almost made him dizzy, Tavros found the situation seemed a lot less complicated.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Tavros assured her. Aradia made a noise of assent and hung up, likely to prevent him from stalling. He sighed and hauled out his laptop, pushing his history homework away. No time like the present.

His new resolve didn't make the prospect of contacting someone he barely knew any easier. Tavros' fingers trembled as he punched in the handle that had been burning a hole in his head for nigh on a week now, and he had to take a deep breath when his chumroll informed him that Gamzee was, in fact, online. What now? Did he just.. say hi? Was it that simple? He clicked once, twice on the screen name, and the window popped up.

Then he panicked and closed it.

Swearing in colorful Spanish, Tavros opened the window again. He was going to do this, goddammit. He typed in three or four different greetings, all of them sounding bizarre and awkward and stilted, and deleted them all. Eventually, he closed the window again. Maybe now was just the wrong time. Maybe he needed to plan this out. Maybe-

The window popped open of its own accord.

-adiosToreador began pestering terminallyCapricious-

-adiosToreador ceased pestering terminallyCapricious-

-adiosToreador began pestering terminallyCapricious-

-adiosToreador ceased pestering terminallyCapricious-

-terminallyCapricious began pestering adiosToreador-

TC: SoMeThInG YoU WaNnA SaY To mE BrO?

Tavros could have screamed. Part of him wanted to fling his laptop from the seventh story window and hide under his blankets, but he was pretty sure that was an immature response, so he swallowed hard and tried to salvage the situation.

AT: uH, hEY! hELLO, uH, sORRY,

AT: i DON'T NORMALLY, yOU KNOW, im PEOPLE OUT OF THE BLUE, oR ANYTHING,

AT: i GUESS, i JUST WANTED TO SAY HI,

AT: bUT, yOU KNOW, tHAT SOUNDS KIND OF WEIRD, jUST, cOMING OUT OF NOWHERE, aND,

TC: WeLl hEy tHeRe, mAn

TC: KaRkAt'S RoOmAtE, rIgHt?

TC: ToOk yOu lOnG EnOuGh :o)

Was it possible to die of humiliation through a virtual medium? Tavros was pretty sure he was going to find out.

AT: uH, yES! yES, tHAT IS ME,

AT: tHAT IS, dEFINITELY, wHO i AM,

AT: sORRY,

AT: i MEAN, fOR HOW LONG IT TOOK ME, uH, tO SAY HELLO,

AT: iT'S BEEN, yOU KNOW, kIND OF A REALLY BUSY WEEK,

AT: nOT THAT IT WASN'T, i MEAN, nOT A PRIORITY,

AT: bECAUSE, iT WAS, oF COURSE, bUT, rEALLY HEAVY COURSE LOAD, aND, yOU KNOW,

AT: nOT THAT THAT'S AN EXCUSE,

TC: iT'S NoT A PrObLeM, bRo

TC: PuT ThE BrAkEs oN ThE PaNiC TrAiN, yEaH?

TC: i'M JuSt aLl kInDs oF FuCkIn pLeAsEd yOu tOoK It uPoN YoUrSeLf tO SaY HeY In tHe fIrSt pLaCe :o)

Tavros took a moment to stare at his screen. That was a relief, but what now? He had no idea what to say. His cursor blinked steadily, and every time his fingers touched the keyboard, they paused and pulled away again. He wanted to ask if Gamzee was okay. He wanted to know if he was doing better, if there was anything he could do - but that was so off limits it wasn't even funny. How were they supposed to dance around this?

TC: So, HaVe yOu uP AnD MuRdErEd kArKat yEt?

Tavros surprised himself with the abrupt bark of laughter that exploded from his throat.

AT: nO, aCTUALLY, hE CURRENTLY REMAINS, uH, aMONG THE LIVING,

AT: i'M NOT REALLY, tHE MURDERING TYPE ANYWAY,

TC: I DuNnO, mAn, kArBrO CaN Be kInD Of hArD To LiVe wItH In cLoSe sPaCeS

TC: I dOn't mInD, bUt hE'S NoT A VeRy cUdDlY MoThErFuCkEr, YoU FeEl mE?

AT: yES,

AT: oN THAT COUNT,

AT: i THINK, i DO, iN FACT, fEEL YOU,

AT: bUT, aCTUALLY, wE'VE BEEN GETTING ALONG A LITTLE BETTER,

AT: i MEAN, cOMPARATIVELY,

AT: aT LEAST, hE TALKS TO ME NOW, sOMETIMES,

TC: wElL ShIt, If yOu aReN'T A FuCkInG MiRaClE WoRkEr

TC: KaRbRo'S GrEaT

TC: JuSt tAkEs a cErTaIn sOrT Of mOtHeRfUcKeR To dRaG ThE GrEaT BiTs OuT

TC: SpEaKiNg oF

TC: I ThInK We wErE In tHe mIdDlE Of diScUsSiNg jUsT WhAt sOrT Of mOtHeRfUcKeR YoU MiGhT Be tHe lAsT TiMe wE HaD ThE PlEaSuRe oF GeTtInG OuR TaLk oN

TC: CaRe tO CoNtInUe iLlUmInAtInG A BrOtHEr?

AT: i GUESS,

AT: tHAT IS A THING, tHAT COULD HAPPEN,

AT: sURE,

TC: ThEn wHy dOn't yOu sTaRt fRoM ThE MoThErFuCkInG BeGinNiNg?

Gamzee was surprisingly easy to talk to. Tavros hadn't realized how starved he'd been for real, uninterrupted conversation until he began spilling everything about his hometown, his mother, his father, how he hated the ramp to the library, how his English professor had a habit of spitting as he spoke and how aggravating it was that Tavros was eternally trapped in the front row. It was almost a relief, being able to ramble endlessly about everything and nothing, and he was amazed at how steadily the words came. Not even Aradia listened the way this man did.

Tavros didn't notice the shadows getting longer against the walls. He barely stirred when Karkat came home, greeting him only in passing before the boy was hunkered down at his own computer, headphones in, as was Karkat's custom. The silence of their room was total, punctuated only by the sounds of fingers on keyboards and the occasional rumble of Tavros' laugh - a soft, compulsory noise, unavoidable and spurred by the words on his screen. He didn't notice as the hours dragged on, as Karkat turned in and as it went from very late to very early. There was a stiffness to his back and an ache behind his eyes when he realized with a start that the sky outside his window was not as black as it had been the last time he'd checked - when had that happened? How had an entire night rushed by?

AT: sO, uH, iT APPEARS, tHE SUN MIGHT BE COMING UP,

AT: pRESENTLY,

TC: WeLl hOw aBoUt tHaT

TC: I HaTe tHaT ShIt

TC: AlL SnEaKiNg uP On a mOtHeRfUcKeR

TC: No pRoPeR FuCkInG WaRnInG

AT: oF IMPENDING SUNLIGHT?

TC: ExAcTlY

TC: ShIt iS JuSt rUDe

AT: sO RUDE,

AT: yOU'D THINK, a STAR OF THAT MAGNITUDE WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE MANNERLY,

AT: iN THE BUSINESS OF ITS ROTATIONS,

TC: ThIs iS WhAt i'M SaYiNg, bRoThEr

TC: A LiTtLe bAsIc fUcKiNg dEcOrUm wOuLdN'T Up aNd kIlL AnYoNe

AT: i'M INCLINED TO AGREE, bUT, uH, bE THAT AS IT MAY, i'M PRETTY SURE i SHOULD, yOU KNOW,

AT: tURN IN,

AT: pREFERABLY, bEFORE i HAVE TO GET UP,

TC: NaW, mAn, YoU'Re tOtALlY RiGhT

TC: HiT ThE HeLl oUt oF ThAt hAy

TC: ShOw tHaT HaY WhO'S BoSs

AT: bUT, i'LL TALK TO YOU LATER?

TC: FuCkInG CoUnT On iT, BrO

TC: :o)

Tavros closed his laptop with a soft click and spent a moment or two sitting in the dark, listening to the sound of his breath ebbing and flowing in the early morning stillness. He wasn't sure what, but he got the distinct impression that something important had just happened.

Sleep came easily after that.


End file.
